


What fathers and sons are made of

by RosadelValle



Series: Heart of darkness [5]
Category: El Laberinto del Fauno | Pan's Labyrinth (2006)
Genre: References to Depression, exploring the dark side, fathers and sons, oof, the general is a bit fucked up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:47:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21516283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosadelValle/pseuds/RosadelValle
Summary: When Vidal wasn’t an officer yet, not even a soldier, and was just walking on that thin line that separates the boy from the man, one evening saw his father pointing his gun to his own head in front of the mirror.
Series: Heart of darkness [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1357984
Kudos: 4





	What fathers and sons are made of

**Author's Note:**

> Vidal's name is apparently Ernesto. I was 100% sure it was Ricardo but i must have hallucinated it. The stolen razor is canon in the book.

Carmen was sitting outside with her daughter, he couldn’t hear what they were talking about from his position but he could see how the little girl was reading something from that old book she used to always carry around. Carmen listened to her ramblings while gently rubbing her belly, her mind clearly elsewhere.

His father the General wouldn’t have liked her and wouldn’t have let him marry her, which would have probably been for the best. Vidal didn’t really like her either and why he did marry her was still kind of a mistery for him too. He wanted a son, sure, but he could have had one with any other woman. The thing is… she looked sweet, calm, collected. All Vidal wanted was a pacific woman and a son: a wife to wait for him at home, to raise his heir and watch over the hearth, so to speak. 

But what Carmen wanted was very different: she was looking for Prince Charming to save her from misery, loneliness and more importantly from herself. This was something Vidal had no interesting in doing, especially now that her quiet behaviour started reeking of depression, of resignation. He couldn’t love a woman that looked eternally defeated and she couldn’t love him back, because she couldn’t understand him. 

If love can be measured by mutual understanding, then the only person on earth whom he truly loved, being loved in return, was is father the General.

When Vidal wasn’t an officer yet, not even a soldier, and was just walking on that thin line that separates the boy from the man, one evening saw his father pointing his gun to his own head in front of the mirror. Absentmindedly. Without touching the trigger. The barrel delicately pushing against his temple. The General was so focused on the reflex of his face that it took him a while to notice that Ernesto, his youngest son, was right behind his chair ready to disarm him. And even then he didn’t say anything, but just extended an arm in invitation so the boy could slip in his arms and sit on his legs. And then they just stood there for a while, in comfortable silence, the gun watching over them while they both contemplated the endless possibilities of life and death.

His father had left him a watch to remind him to be fearless in the face of abyss and he stole a german razor in Barcelona to train himself for it. One day he will do the same for his unborn son, he will leave him a shattered watch and then the kid will find his own gun or his own razor.


End file.
